A student of mine recently started to become religious and decided to go to Israel and study in a Yeshiva (rabbinic college). When I questioned his motives he told me that since all rabbis and religious people he had ever met were such incredibly good and kind people he was drawn to the way of life and ideology that produced such exemplary human beings. Another conversation I had earlier this week could not have been more different. A man came to see me about a difficulty he was experiencing. He told me that he had abandoned his religious lifestyle about two years ago. When I asked him why he had done so he said it boiled down to one factor: rabbis. He went on to describe a whole catalogue of situations where he had been severely let down by rabbis and the religious community.
I can relate well to both of these people. Having spent most of my teenage years putting people on pedestals, when I reached my twenties and got to know the people I admired a little better, I began taking them off again. Ultimately we expect a lot from religious people who espouse high moral and religious values, and when expectations are not lived up to we become disillusioned and disappointed. So upon hearing this student’s motive for becoming religious I became concerned that he would eventually end up disillusioned. Suddenly I was in the strange position of trying to convince him that although the religious way of life is fulfilling, wonderful and commendable, religious people themselves are not perfect. I suggested that he focus on the main aim of religion – connecting and communicating with God – rather than on fallible individuals.
A common cause of failure is the inability to remain focused on a goal. The student who was becoming religious got carried away with the personalities rather than with the ideals of the theology. The man who became disillusioned with rabbis and religion focused on the minutiae of human relationships rather than on the goal of forming a relationship with God. A rabbi’s goal may be to connect with God and help others do likewise. However, if he allows himself to become entrenched in the details of organisational issues and politics this may cause him to act in ways that bring about disillusionment in others.
Indeed this was one of the mistakes of the spies in the Bible (found in this week’s Torah portion (Numbers chapter 13). Before moving in to conquer the Land of Canaan, and at the behest of the people, Moses sent spies to spy out the Land and report back on its elementary characteristics. Upon returning to the desert camp the spies gave their verdict: the Land of Canaan was simply unconquerable. But military strategy was not part of their brief: their mission was purely to report on the fundamentals like the strength of the cities etc. However, they became consumed with their own emotions and therefore lost sight of their mission, with disastrous consequences – the Israelites had to wander in the dessert for a further forty years.
The great Chassidic personality Reb Mendel Futerfas was imprisoned by the Soviets for alleged counterrevolutionary activities – teaching Judaism. While in a Siberian labour camp he met a tightrope walker. Reb Mendel asked him to share his professional secret. He said: “As I walk along the tightrope I constantly keep my eye focused on my destination. If I take my eye off that destination for even a split second I will fall down.”
We must realize that we are all tightrope walkers balancing along the path of life – we must never take our focus off our goal, lest we fall off. We must have a personal mission statement for our lives. We should repeat our mission statement over and over again so that it is imprinted upon our mind and heart.
Once we are clear what our mission in life is we can endeavour to avoid situations that take us off course and we can adjust our short-term goals to that mission. If the student who was becoming religious and the disenchanted man who came to see me had both focused on the primary aim of religion – connecting with the Divine – nothing any rabbi had or hadn’t done, will or will not do, would have been able to deter them from their mission.
Ultimately religion is not primarily about community or the veneration of religious leaders: it is about a personal relationship with God that is developed through a combination of an awareness of God’s immanence, speaking (praying) to God and carrying out His will. Religious leaders should be viewed simply as fallible facilitators and motivators who inspire people towards cultivating an immensely personal relationship with the Divine which is at the heart and soul of the whole religious enterprise. It is then over to us to remain focused on the mission at hand.