“America has spoken,” declared President George W. Bush as he announced his victory, giving him another four years as head of the free world. But while everyone is focusing on the winner we forget about the loser. Senator John Kerry moved swiftly from possible glory to certain embarrassment and then obscurity. The gamble was very high and so too was the price for losing. After putting so much money, time, energy and hope into his battle to become the president of the USA, the disappointment of losing is unimaginable – how does one deal with such heartbreaking failure?
This is a very powerful question. It is one that we all face. There is scarcely a person alive who has not had to stare failure in the face at some point or another in their life. We can encounter failure at almost any time. It can take us totally by surprise. But whichever way it hits us, it is always a challenge. So how does one come to terms with failure? What can we do to make the bitter pill of failure taste sweeter?
The answer, for me, is never to look at failure as a barrier or an ending; rather, to see it as a step along the way to greater success. Each and every individual has strengths and weaknesses and we are all different, but each of us has a unique contribution to make to the world and to the betterment of humanity. Our sages comment that, although all people are cast in the mould of Adam, the primordial man, no two people look alike – we all have unique characteristics. Each of us therefore has the obligation to say, “the world was created for me” (Sanhedrin 4:5). Each individual is unique and irreplaceable.
However, we often get carried away when we look at others and think that their success should really be our success. Instead of measuring ourselves next to what we can achieve, we measure ourselves against the achievements of others. We forget that we have a unique character and thus a unique contribution that is no less important than the contribution of others. And just as we know that we cannot offer the same contribution as our friends, similarly, they cannot offer what we can.
So we should see failure as a corrective process that puts us back on the path leading to our unique and all-important mission in the world. Senator Kerry’s mission did not include becoming the president but that does not mean that his mission is less important than George W. Bush’s mission. Their missions are different but of equal importance. What Kerry’s true destiny is we cannot yet say, but undoubtedly this “failure” of his has placed him further along the path towards it.
We must realize that there is more to life than fame, personal prestige and wealth. A truly successful life is one in which one is constantly moving towards one’s own personal potential. So next time we think we have failed, let us look again and we will see success beckoning.