My day has been entirely shattered. I don’t know what to do with myself. What happened in that classroom is too painful to contemplate. I don’t want to turn on the news in my car because what I hear is too devastating. Neither am I in the mood for music. But in silence the thoughts running through my head are just as distressing. So I turn to writing -maybe there will be some catharsis here.
I weep as I write this. There is no way to not imagine my own 11, 9 and 6 year olds sitting in their classrooms at this very moment. As a parent I am so full of hope for them. They brim with potential. Children are so pure. They love with abandonment and dream with no limits. Yet, they are so vulnerable. We adults are charged with the awesome responsibility of protecting our children and nurturing them so that they grow into healthy and productive grownups.
Yet we have no choice but to send our children to school -into the care of others to whom we place our most precious possessions. When we look into the eyes of our children, we see the trust they place into us. They have faith that we will protect them, save them from harm and guide them in this journey of life. The moment our child is born we accept upon ourselves this solemn responsibility.
How, then, are weto respond when twenty pure, innocent and holy souls, full of potential and life, are taken senselessly? How is one to react when unspeakable evil extinguishes the hopes and dreams of twenty sets of devoted parents? There can only be one response: intense pain and anger.
Pain at the loss of life, pain for the parents and pain to have to live in a society where this has happened one time too many. But there is a huge sense of anger too. Anger towards the shooter, anger towards a society in which this can happen and anger at ourselves for being helpless in the face of such horrible evil.
As times goes on we will need to channel this pain and anger to ensure this this never, ever happens again. But for now, in the aftermath of this terrible and unspeakable act of evil, we need to be allowed to feel the intensity of the pain and anger.
Our hearts, souls and tears are with the victims’ families–may they be comforted in knowing that we are all crying with them.